There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
