Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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