did you get engaged???
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
