lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
