to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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