i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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