She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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