i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
