you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
