I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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