You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
pray to the hookup gods
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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