I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
