im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
