Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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