from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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