Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
