Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
