I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
