the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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