She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
