mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
