I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
