some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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