It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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