At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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