so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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