wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
