I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
