Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
