they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
