i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
