tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
