she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
