i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just high enough for therapy.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
