so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
