Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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