She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
