oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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