So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
