It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I accidentally had phone sex last night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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