i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
