I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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