do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
