apparently the secret to your success is patron
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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