i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
