just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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