Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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