About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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