grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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