Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
