I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize