I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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