this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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