Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
