I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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