I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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