Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
