so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
